Monday, January 12, 2015

What a Difference a Year Makes


It was exactly a year today, January 12, 2014, that Chris and I first met Kerri & Jason.  I remember being a ball of nerves on the way to meet them.  Looking back, I knew in my gut that they would be the perfect match.  I knew it from the very first conversations that Kerri and I had through Facebook.  Meeting them solidified those feelings.  And here we are today...we went from strangers to friends to family. 

Kerri posted her thoughts on the birth of Jaden, and I thought I would share some of mine as well.  That same ball of nerves I had on the way to meet Kerri & Jason for the first time was even bigger on the way to the hospital.  We were induced, so I think knowing that this was the day intensified those feelings.  As nervous as I was, I couldn’t help but think about Kerri & Jason and how they must have felt.  Everything they had worked for the last 4 years plus was finally coming to fruition. 

Having your own baby is the best thing in the world.  Or so I thought until I was a surrogate.  Having someone else’s baby for them trumps it a million percent.  Being there, in that moment, is almost indescribable.  Kerri had warned me many times that she gets extra chatty when she’s nervous.  I’m the opposite.  I told her and Jason that they would know when it was getting close to baby time because I would stop talking and get in the zone, so to speak.  My other signs of impending baby crowning (aka holy hell, get this thing out of me!) are me asking for drugs (I don’t really mean it) and saying I can’t do it (like I have a choice at that time).  Disclaimer – I am not anti-epidural or anti pain meds.  I am pro women doing whatever works best for them and their baby.  I am also, according to the nurse and most other women I know stupid crazy.  Needless to say, I did ask for meds (which I didn’t really want or get) and I also said I couldn’t do it, but I did.  And like that, it was go time.  Kerri was holding one leg, Chris the other, and Jason was very diplomatically at my head behind Chris until both he and I basically forced Jason down by Dr. Ramani.  Seeing the birth of your child is a miraculous thing, and no way was Jason going to miss out on that on my watch. 

The mood in the room was excited, nervous, and beyond happy.  It was euphoric.  When Jaden was born and Dr. Ramani placed him on my belly, seeing Kerri see her baby for the first time was breath taking.  The years of anticipation, heart ache, loss, worry, and sadness were replaced in that single second.  This child that she and Jason yearned for so desperately was here, and he was perfect. 

Don’t get me wrong, the birth of my three girls are three of the best days and times of my life, but being lucky enough to help create another family and witness the sheer joy and love that having Jaden brought to Kerri & Jason ranks right up there with my own births. 

Anyone involved with surrogacy will mostly likely claim that there is no such thing as a “perfect journey.” I whole heartedly disagree, because from second one, this journey was.  Not that is was 100% easy and worry free, but it was perfect.  This last year I have heard many people say that Kerri and Jason were lucky to have me, but it’s simply not true.  I’m the lucky one.  Lucky to have a husband, children, family, and friends who support me 100%.  Lucky to have Kerri & Jason as not just IPs, but as friends and family.  Lucky to have their extended families and friends welcome me and my family with open arms.  Lucky to witness the pure love, kindness, caring, generosity, faith, and perseverance of Kerri & Jason.  Yep, I’m the lucky one. 

2 comments:

  1. It's not luck-it's Kismet! Jaden's journey was meant to be. It happened exactly as it was supposed to and now that he's here I can honestly (and surprisingly) say, I wouldn't have it any other way. We are so blessed that you brought us Jaden and Jaden brought us all of you!

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  2. Thank you for this blog. It's so inspiring! I'm so happy for you! We should always fight for our dreams and goals no matter what. I also can't carry a baby by myself. I was born without a uterus. There is no chance for me to get pregnant and feel my baby pushing into my stomach. Still I'm grateful there are places and people who can help us with our problem. At the same time this is really hard to find good agency or clinic. There are so many scammers, who want to become rich, using poor people like us. There are even women, who pretend they want to be surrogates and then they get money and disappear. Unfortunately our family faced such woman. Three years ago my dh and I decided to find sm by ourselves. We thought the procedure will be cheaper in this way. We met with her and discussed everything. She seemed so kind and lovely person. After our first payment she was gone. She didn't answer our phone calls or mails. It was so hard to get back to search of another place to go. I was seeing deception and dirty tricks everywhere. After our experience we decided not to contact agencies and especially search sm by ourselves. We were looking for reliable clinic with professional doctors and high rate of successful treatments. We decided to concentrate mostly on Europe. We found clinic there. Reviews were mostly positive and this clinic has high success rates. Though we had some doubts about their medicine, we decided to go there and check everything. Our concerns faded away when we talk to our doctor and program coordinator. We saw fashionable design of the clinic and modern equipment. And the most important we saw so many couples there! People all over the world came to this clinic for surrogacy and de ivf programs. We have no regrets! We are so lucky we went straight to this clinic. Our daughter Kristine was born in May 2015. Dear, I wish you and your wonderful family all the best!

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